Letters to Everly
There are times when I worry that I am not going to be prepared enough to take care of you when arrive. I’ve found myself overwhelmed with the what ifs of providing you with everything you’ll possibly need. Am I old enough, smart enough, capable enough to be the caregiver of another human being? Can we afford to do this?
And then I look at our little apartment and see that we managed to hang our pictures straight and the milk in the fridge isn’t expired, your father and our two little dogs all are in good health… and me, I find time to put fresh flowers on the coffee table and not scuff up my favorite yellow shoes too much. We pay our bills, sock a little away in savings and usually have a few bucks left over to treat ourselves to a little dinner out or a thrift store treasure hunt. When it comes to raising you… we won’t have it all… we won’t know it all… but we’re going to give it the best shot we can.
I think about my own parents… the stories of my upbringing… when it would get so cold in the farmhouse we rented that the toilets would freeze in the winter and once as a toddler, I pitched such a fit for a teddy bear at a church auction that my mother bid on it and then went outside to cry because it was way more than she could afford. I don’t remember ever being without anything because there was always so much love.
And for you, the same surplus waits. You won’t enter this world with your college tuition already paid, or huge house with a backyard… we don’t even have a car right now. But I’m guessing you’ll never notice… because the really good stuff in life can’t be found on a store shelf. It doesn’t wait within the walls of banks, or under pretty wrapping paper.
My mother once said to me “If you’re waiting until you think you can afford to have a baby, you’ll be waiting for a long long time” I can’t promise we will be able to give you everything you’ll ever want, but we measured our worth and counted our blessings and I can promise you this little girl, we’re down right wealthy in the things that you’ll need most.
Love,
M
